As some of you know by now, I had a successful day competing at the Ironman Arizona 70.3. It was many flavors of hard, as it always is. But I came away with a 5th age in my group podium spot and a World Championship qualification for next year. Mission accomplished.
Last week when I was editing my blog detailing “why” I was racing in AZ, I found a very important typo—one that altered my blog completely. Now, I am very aware that many of you have found typos in my blogs. Although I edit a few times, I choose to not pine over these messages as I want to write them weekly, inspired and perfectly imperfect.
But, I was very grateful I found this small mistake. One letter.
The original version said, “But, at the Arizona 70.3 this weekend I am showing up to complete.” Do you see it? That one sneaky letter that changes my intention for racing.
I fixed it. And I showed up to compete. And I am glad I did. And it has nothing to do with the outcome.
I have completed many race distances and life tasks. Often the goal is to complete them. And I don’t feel any shame in that (and neither should you!).
But, I knew that completing wasn’t the intention of my mind, body, or heart. That if I put that out there it wouldn’t be coming from a real version of me. It would be my scared self—the fear of vulnerability and failure seeping in and overtaking my authentic desire. Not only can I not race well when my brain is trying to honor a fake/afraid goal, but I cannot inspire anyone else when I am living a false existence (even if I am the only one who knows it).
Athletes live in fear and justify themselves all of the time. It is harder to do this as you focus on becoming intentionally more self aware. More self compassionate.
More real and honest with the one human you spend every single second of your life with.
Show up knowing why you are there. If it’s to complete, know why. If it’s to compete, know why.
Then feel however you need to as the results roll in—cry or celebrate (or both). Then learn and take it all into the next goal.
Thank you for all of your unwavering, continued support.
Some day we will have a really big party to celebrate.