Each week I write my blog from a place of personal inspiration. Something that I think, see, or hear inspires something in me. And although I believe we all live in our own unique perspective, I still have to assume that someone else has experienced the same feelings, whether in the past, present, or future.
This week, I have returned to my daily journalling after a short hiatus in consistency. I had journaled my intentions each day for over a year and a half. And, although I recently have missed days, I keep returning to the habit as I find it nearly crucial for setting my day up for presence. Not daily joy or perfection. Not without failure, and with many chances to learn. But, when I spend 5-10 mins in the morning feeling in my body I can consider how I can go about my day with intentionality versus reactivity. Many days as I ponder what may trigger big emotion (I have a lot of this!) I am able to simply intend to be kind, present, a good listener, love, or to care for myself and others well. And then I aim to apply these principles, putting them into action in my daily roles of mom, wife, friend, athlete, coach, writer etc.
Be intentional in your life. Be present.
Consider these truths…
- No one deserves to be happy all of the time. Life is 50/50. Accepting and owning this reality leads to a full and real life.
- You are worthy of all things because of who you are, you do not need to earn it or prove it. Make choices from this belief, rather than from a place of scarcity within yourself.
- Stop blaming others for the negativity in your life. It is true: you cannot control others, but you can control how you react to them. Do not dismiss this seemingly cliche statement. Let go of ideals and expectations. If you need to walk away from any relationships do it for you, not because of the other person. Own your power.
- Be present in your life NOW. It may be scary and/or hurt like hell at times, but you are strong enough to handle the waves of emotions. Be a good listener. Apologize when needed, and have grace and forgiveness for others. None of us are perfect.
- Show up today as you. The REAL you. Trust that you will attract those who are meant to be around you. Don’t be angry with those who are not. Things change, and that is okay.
- Do things that make you uncomfortable. Do things that make you feel comfortable. Grow, learn, rest, recover. Breathe.
- You can feel pain and sadness and other “negative” emotion. Practice this to learn that you will be okay. Stop buffering from it and numbing it— it won’t go away until you go through it.
- Cultivate a great sense of emotional intelligence and self awareness so you don’t miss one second of this one BIG, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, HARD life.
These truths may feel contrite to you, depending on your situation. And I can agree that they are often easier said than done (especially from a white, cis gendered, privileged woman living in the United States). Don’t dismiss them as they can be transformative for all of us.
Create simple mantras from these and use them when navigating your days. (Yes, I have notes on my bathroom mirror and recite them all Stuart Smalley style). Mantras may seem silly, but they work— and this is science, not just “self help” advice!
In 2019 when I decided to work my a** off toward the goal of getting on the podium at IMWI 70.3 I developed a mantra that eventually go me through the run at my goal pace.
“This is pain and I am okay with pain.”
I had come to the realization after years of training and racing well, I still looked for distractions, excuses, or the “easy out” when it came to discomfort. This mantra was possible after I practiced owning and let go of the blame, excuses, buffering, and fear. I chanted this mantra to myself over and over from about mile 10 in the run to the finish line. I learned that I can hurt and still push myself toward actualizing the result I am capable of (not pushing the pain of an injury, but in the legs throbbing and wanting to walk way). I was able to be one with the experience of my body, rather than frantically searching for ways to get out of the moment.
It worked. And you can do this too.
Take a deep breath today and listen to your body. Feel it all. Stop ignoring your needs and wants. Maintaining this internal struggle and battle is harder than feeling it and asking for loving support.
And when you get to the goal or the celebration or the conflict or… be present with it all.
After all, you really are good enough, smart enough, and doggone it (if you show them the real you) people like you.