My mental and emotional state in the last couple weeks can be best summed up as “off.” It is easy to see why from a circumstantial lens— the kids are now all gone (and the nest feels really empty), Ironman WI weekend has passed, and Jamie is fully consumed in the opening of his newest project. All of the letdown has left me quite unsettled… yet life must go on.
Professionally, I am very thankful that I have the excitement (and pressure) of selling my book. I still have a handful of athletes who have some big races to tackle yet this year. I also get really excited about off-season work with those who choose to use my services year-round. I love teaching my in-person strength class.
Personally, I am so damn lucky to be blessed with a multitude of friends. I am part of crazy awesome communities. My kids want to connect with me in healthy intervals. My faith is strong. I have two sweet, dummy dogs to help me keep me on my toes. And, I am smashing my training for the Arizona 70.3. My physical body feels better than ever.
But, even with some perspective, and a solid amount of gratitude, the “off” still remained. In the last two weeks, I had spent more time lying on the couch watching stupid TV, or mindlessly on my phone, than ever in my life. I wanted to do more, but the idea of most elective activities felt like climbing mountains. I am definitely not shaming rest, or claiming that it isn’t vitally important to take some down time. I absolutely believe in the power of recharging. This has felt… well, different.
Even with all of these amazing things in my life, I was in an uncharacteristic rut.
I felt stuck.
A few nights ago, after not connecting for weeks, Jamie and I had an opportunity to go on a date. And, I had the chance to share with him how I had been feeling. I won’t go into the long backstory in order to get to the actual point of this message, but the next morning he looked at me and said, “I think you need to find your purpose again.” Damn, he was so right. (I am sure I will share more about the journey to get to this point in the future)
We chatted. I cried. And then I did what I know best— I prayed. For answers, and in the meantime, the ability to keep navigating these big life changes with strength and peace. I opened up my heart and mind.
Then, I did the next best thing I know— I got on my bike for a long ride. Thankfully, it was an absolutely gorgeous fall day. I breathed in the crisp air. I smiled…
And then BOOM— I had an idea seemingly fall out of the sunny, blue sky and into my brain. It grew, and I wove together a way to connect my passion for helping people, the purpose of my book, my 1:1 coaching, and my individual training as I rode along. The clarity at which it all unfolded made me laugh out loud with joy and gratitude. I was in awe in the power of how awareness, asking for help, and opening my mind through movement in nature opened the chance for me to get into a creative flow.
I CANNOT WAIT to announce what I came up with, and the eager part of me wants to throw it out to you today. But, I want to do it “right” (ya know, make it shiny and pretty).
A few hints— it brings the principles of my book to life, for all who are interested, and for myself. And it aligns with my purpose, and the reason I wrote the book in the first place— I love people, and I want to be someone who can urge you to show up wholly as yourself. I have used endurance sports to break down all of the large parts of being human into an easier to digest process. I have discovered who I am through this journey. And I want to create a space where you can do the same.
So, if you are feeling stuck today— I urge you to start to unstick yourself. (The following ideas will likely feel overly simplified, in admittedly not a super simple process. But, you have to start somewhere!)
Admit you are stuck. Try talking to someone you trust. Ask for help. Open up to your strengths and flaws with curiosity. Put your ego away, and understand that you have blindspots. Accept who, and were, you are today. Acknowledge ways you have been distracting yourself, or things you have been insistent on controlling while feeling unsteady. Be patient. Pray.
Move your body. Get out in nature. Breathe.
Hopefully you can soon have your own BOOM fall out of a sunny, blue sky. And, if you need some more guidance– watch your inboxes 🙂